“Medley. How are you holding up dear.” Stanza asked handing her a tissue.
“Fifty-five years. Fifty-five years of caring for this man and he’s gone. Just like that.”
The girls pulled her into a hug. By “the girls” I mean Stanza, Capella, and Carol. They met in college. A bunch of band girls who had become fast friends and somehow managed to stay close throughout the years regardless of where their careers and husbands took them. They kept talking about moving in together all their lives, but it never worked out. It always seemed like someone was getting married, someone didn’t want to quit their job just to have to find another, someone was in the wrong country….. Then when they all got married all their husbands thought it was kind of a weird idea. But now, everyone was widowed except Carol. Ironic, because Carol used to joke about killing Medley’s husband when she became a widow so they could grow old in a nursing home together. Medley would always tell her that her kids would love her entirely too much to ever put her in a nursing home.
A few weeks after the funeral, Medley’s children broke it to her that they were going to have to put her in a nursing home.
“You can’t put me a nursing home George!” She shouted. “I fed you! I clothed you! I paid for your education! You ungrateful little chicken s***!”
“Mom. I appreciate all those things and you know that. But I have a wife, two kids, and I’m working on my Ph.D. I can’t keep driving two and a half hours for your so-called emergencies.”
“So-called? My emergencies are real!”
“Mom, you called me down here to open a pickle jar.”
“Well, I was working on a recipe that called for pickles! Your dad used to open those for me.” She started tearing up again.
“I would just feel better if you had some people near that could help you.”
“You can’t make me! I will go in kicking and screaming!”
Well,…she couldn’t really kick as she was in a wheelchair, but she did go in screaming. “George you ungrateful wretch! You were supposed to love me enough to keep me out of one of these places!” As she snatched a little old man’s walker out from underneath him and hurled it at George’s head.
“Mother! Stop!”
“Take me home!” She said as she grabbed at a lady’s cane.
“Oh no, you don’t.” He steered her away and up to the front desk.
He smiled at the front desk lady who looked horrified. “I’ve come to offer you a new resident.”
“No, he didn’t!” She went for his neck, but it was just out of reach.
“Oh well, of course, we would love to have her. She seems darling. Let me just check and see if we have any rooms available.” She fiddled around on the computer a little. “Oh. We are all full! I’m sorry.”
And the pattern continued. Until they finally found one that would take on the challenge. George was pretty sure they took her because they were desperate for residents. The place was absolutely depressing. The walls were this ugly yellow. You know the darker yellow that kind of looks like it wants to be gold without any of the beauty that comes with gold. Yeah, that color. There was no art on the walls. There was a small TV in the lobby area, but it was an old black and white TV. George momentarily felt bad about leaving his mother there. Then he remembered the man with the walker that she tried to kill. He shook it off and drove away.
Medley remained in her room alone, all day every day. They sent in a nurse three times a day to give her a tray of food that she threw across the room. Once a week a scared looking nurse would come in and give her her sponge bath. It was never the same nurse. And so, Medley was forced to be alone with her thoughts, day after day with very little human interaction. She was absolutely miserable. She often thought of a time when she wasn’t miserable. In college, she was never miserable. The shenanigans of her, Stanza, Carol, and Capella were enough to make sure she didn’t have time to be miserable.
After about three weeks of this madness, she hatched a plan. She was going to get the girls back together again. They were all retired so their jobs wouldn’t miss them. The only thing standing in their way was that pesky Jacob! Carol’s husband. So naturally, her first order of business was to get rid of him. The trouble was, he was as fit as a fiddle and twenty years younger than all the girls! So poison would be suspicious. But the more she was left alone with her thoughts, the more refined her plans became.
Finally, at midnight, she opened her window, used her bedsheets to lower her wheelchair down to the ground, while supporting herself on the windowsill. She then threw herself down into it. Surprisingly she stuck the landing! This alone gave her hope that her plan would work! She hotwired one of the night nurse’s cars, rigged up a system to work the peddles and drove to California! Switching cars along the way to avoid two things, running out of gas and getting caught.
When she reached California, she watched him! Everywhere he went. Work, home, kickboxing with Carol, taking Carol on dates. It seemed that the only place he went that Carol wasn’t with him was work. So, that settled it!
She waited for him at an intersection one morning. Angry cars kept honking at her to go every time the light turned green, but she had to be patient. He finally got there! And when his light turned green, she hit the gas and crashed into him, when she was certain he was dead, she sped off! She switched cars again in the parking lot of some apartments she found. Luckily, her fingerprints were on none of these cars! She was smart enough to wear gloves.
Once her Jacob problem was solved. She waited for the funeral to be over so that Carol could have her time of morning. Though of course, she couldn’t go to the funeral. Because no one knew where she was. Besides, George might have been at the funeral. Medley did appear however when Carol went to the bathroom.
“Carol.”
“Medley! Where have you been? George has been looking everywhere for you!”
“I broke out of that awful nursing home he put me in.”
“Well, now where are you living?”
“I’m on the run.”
“That’s silly Medley. Just come with me.” And she looked towards the door. “George is here. We will figure out a solution.” But by the time she looked back. Medley was gone.
But of course, she wasn’t just gone! She was sitting on the commode in the handicapped bathroom being very quiet and still. She was hoping Carol wouldn’t think to check under the stalls because she couldn’t lift her wheelchair off the ground for that long. But to Carol, she seemed to be gone.
“Medley?” Carol looked around. “I always knew I’d go crazy eventually.”
The next step of the plan was a go! She robbed a bank. Of course, she was very careful. She picked one in a small town where no one knew her, wore a ski mask, colored contacts, and gloves. After the bank had placed all the money in the bag, she rolled out of there, stole a teller’s minivan and was off.
Now that she had money, she could hire her favorite hitman, Lance! Lance was to kidnap all her friends but specifically instructed him not to hurt them!
He kidnapped Stanza under the cover of nightfall right after a bowling tournament. Capella, he took after Bible study and Carol was easy. He just broke into her house as she now lived alone.
The great thing about hiring Lance as your hitman was, he had a helicopter! So when he had successfully kidnapped everyone, he flew them to Norway. There he gently placed them gently in recliners in the living room of a house. He untied their hands and disappeared.
Soon after they had taken off their blindfolds, Medley came in the house. “Hi girls!”
“Medley. What is going on?” Capella asked.
“I got the girls back together.”
“Ummm did you have to kidnap us to do that?” said Stanza.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because all of our plans to live together again have failed! Something was always getting in our way. This way none of you could back out!”
“But we’re all retired, and all of our husbands have passed so what would have stopped us?” Stanza argued. Carol started to tear up at the thought of her husband.
“Nothing! That’s why this is the perfect time.” Medley was all smiles.
“I don’t know what I would have done anyways…” Said Carol, “now that Jacob is gone. I can’t believe he was the one to die first.”
The girls all came over to comfort her.
“Okay. Well, we’re already in…,” said Capella.
“Norway.”
“Norway. We’re already in Norway. We might as well make the most of it. I was sad and pitiful all by myself anyway.”
“So you’re gonna stay?” Medley said. “You’re not going to turn me into George!”
“Well it’s not like you gave us much of a choice you crazy old bat!” said Stanza.
“Yay! Now we’ve gotta go exploring! What are we going to see first?”
They went on discussing what to see and when to go for hours. They lived out the rest of their lives blissfully running around Norway like tourists and Carol never figured out who killed Jacob. Said she didn’t have the energy, besides God would take care of them for her. They were happy until they started to pass away. Capella went first, then Stanza. Carol stayed alive until there was only one day til her hundredth birthday.
When she passed…Medley was again left alone with her thoughts….
By: Acacia Faye
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