Poem~"Why Did You Do it?"~AF~7

Dad, why did you do it?
He looks at me with eyes that have always lied,
He says, "I swear I'm not guilty.
You are safe with me baby girl."

Dad, why did you do it?
He sits down, he tears up, his voice gets small,
He says, "I didn't do it.
I swear you can trust me."

Dad, why did you do it?
He grabs my shoulders, he shakes me,
He says, "I can't believe you think I would do that.
You have to believe I did not do it."

Dad, why did you do it?
He hits the table with both hands,
He says, "Damnit child!"
Stop asking me that or I'll dot your eye!" 

Dad, why did you do it?
He narrows his eyes.
He says, "Because I am the father and she is the daughter!
I can make her do whatever I want!"

Dad, why did you do it?
He picks me up by my neck.
He says, "None of your damn business little girl!
I'm a grown man and I do what I want!"

Dad, why did you do it?
He cries, he wipes his eyes.
He says, "I had to make up for all the times...
I never showed her I loved her."

Dad, why did you do it?
He sobs on the floor.
He says, "I didn't know she didn't want me to.
I'm sorry.  Tell her I'm sorry."

Dad, why did you do it?
He looks at me with misty honest eyes.
He says, "I don't know what's wrong with me.
I thought it would help me figure it out."

Dad, this is what God says to you,
When I ask you why you did it.
This is what He says to you,
When I sit down to listen. 

Speak son.
Speak now or forever cry in silence,
Forever hold your breath,
Forever tighten the noose around your own neck. 
Answer the child's questions.

Speak son.

Tell her about the day when everything went dark,
About the time your mind started twisting,
What they said and did to twist it.
Tell her why you did it.

Speak son.
Tell her about the day you were silenced,
About the day your truthful tongue was ripped from your mouth,
The name of the person who holds it now.
Tell her why you did it.

Speak son.
Tell her about your darkest day,
What made the monster inside,
About the time you decided to free it.
Tell her why you did it.

Speak son.
Dig up the truth that you buried alive as a kid.
Dig it up because no matter how many showers you take,
No matter how hard you scrub,
You will forever lie in mud with your name until you speak. 

Speak son.
Tell her your story,
For this may be your only chance to tell it.
Tell her what happened,
Because she is actually listening. 

Dad, I had much to say,
Lots of cuss words arranged in poetic ways.
But now that we are here,
I just want to listen.

I just want you to trust me with the truth.
I only have two questions.
Why did you do it?
And do you ever feel guilty?

Poetry ~ A Psalm (Freedom) ~ LbtS

A Psalm (Freedom) by LadybytheSea
The addiction
To my iniquity
Puts a barrier
Betwixt us

At least that's
How it feels
For me.
This addiction
It makes me think
I am no longer worthy
To be near
To be loved
To have hope
For true freedom

I crave freedom
Most of all.

But my flesh
How it craves
Things I cannot have
It yearns for a future
I am not entitled to.
A future made
Of wishful fantasies.

Listen to its whispered fallacies
Watch how I follow so wittingly
Look at me now!
I even defend such
bittersweet half-truths
Meant to cloud my sight
And snuff my light.

How much unbelief
Is still tethered to my soul?

Tell me O Lord,
How many chains
Do my small hands
Still hold?

When will I let them go?
When O Lord?
Can You tell me, please?

Instead You remind me:
I am worthy
I am loved
I can come near
I can have hope
For Christ has set us free
For it has been proclaimed clearly:
"So, if the Son sets you free,
you will be free indeed."*
I am Yours,
I am no longer a wandering slave
To be bought and sold
To different masters,
But rather,
A crowned child of
The Most High King,
Forever.
Amen.
~~~~
*John 8:34-36