Joy in the Morning: Pastel Day
By: LadyBytheSea
There's a duality in Easter for a Christian. On the one side, there are bright pastels, Easter egg hunts, dressing to the nines in new clothes, forgiveness, rebirth, mercy, love, joy, redemption, and all those other warm fuzzy feelings that make everything okay. Then there's the bloody mess of Jesus' broken body on the cross. What a 180°, right? Guilt, betrayal, gore, sin, death, pain, justice, punishment, and all those other cold, chilling feelings that make everything hurt.
It's a hard thing to hear every year. To listen to the darkest part of Jesus' story in a new beautiful outfit around so many pastel decorated people. It breaks my heart every single time I read Matthew Chapter 26 and 27 or listen to a preacher talk about my Saviors death. Yes, there's joy in chapter 28. That's where the good news is, and the joy and the happily ever after and my sadness is taken away, but in the 26th and 27th, there's pain there.
I was nine years old when it hit me. At that point in my life, my parents dragged me to church almost every Sunday and Wednesday night. There were times I wanted to go, was ready to go with a smile. I enjoyed learning about Jesus and every one in the Bible, but it was the people that scared me. People terrified me. Sometimes they still do, but what truly scared me was people finding out my secrets. Yes, even nine-year-old's have secrets.
I have always been perceived as a good girl; a Bambi, innocent. But, even at nine, I knew that was not completely true. I lied. I cheated. I coveted. I got jealous. I dissed my mom and dad. I stole other peoples things. I took the Lord's name in vain, and I hated people; specifically, two people. I was guilty of breaking six Commandments. Six out of the Ten Commandments! People will say I was a child and shouldn't be held accountable for those things, but even a nine-year-old knows the difference between right and wrong. I knew I was doing wrong when I made those choices and I faced the consequences.
Consequences: We're afraid of those. That's why we keep secrets and are so afraid of people's judgments; so afraid to come forward because consequences have pain and that fills us with fear. We're afraid of being wrong; admitting our sins. We carry it in our mind, silently screaming with the pain of our guilt, hoping one day we can confess them to someone we trust.
I was the reason Jesus was on that cross just as much as anyone else. Jesus loved me - an imperfect person who wouldn't be born for a long time who would break rules just like every other person does. Jesus loved me so much that he died so my guilt could be forgiven. All those commandments, I broke them knowingly and, some of them without regret until I listened in church to what the Bible said. All my sins were forgiven because Jesus lived, died, and rose again. His actions paid the price for my wrong doings. I was forgiven.
I was forgiven! This amazing good news about Jesus is because of His great love. I'm free of guilt and shame and I can live knowing I'm loved and free to say no to sin. I can enjoy my life with my LORD God, my Abba. It feels me with this childlike joy that makes me want to dance around in my pastel dress and sing at the top of my lungs and giggle! Even now, 14 years years later, I'm overwhelmed by My Lord's unconditional love for me and for the world. His love dumbfounds me time and time again because it's so different from the kind of conditional love I have for others. His love never ends, and I'm thankful my nine-year-old self heard the gospel and ran to accept the God of the Universe.
Bible Verses:
Matthew 26, 27, 28
Romans 3:23
Romans 6:23
Romans 5:8
Ephesians 2:8 - 9
Romans 10:9-10
John 3:16
1 John 4: 7-21
Hebrews 12:1
Psalms 30
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