blog post ~ I Finally Finished My Own Challenge ~ LbtS ~ 9.2

I Finally Finished My Own Challenge

by LadybytheSea 

Dear, Naomi Lea and Acacia Faye,

I do hate myself. 

It's an ungodly level of self-loathing, and is most definitely unhealthy, unspiritual, and as far from God's truth as it could be, and it is in this ungodly place I've been living in since elementary school. Don't get me wrong, I have moments where I love who I am and agree with God's truth of who I am, but hating is so much easier than loving. Which is why I picked this prompt in the first place. I wanted it to be a challenge and to force myself to see what's to love about myself without dragging it into the dark. It just took me longer and took more work than I thought it would to see the light, and stay in it. So, what are three things I love about myself?

• I love my curiosity. When I was starting to  write "An Rogha" I dived in head first into the lore of the selkie and their meanings and their time in human history. I thought about what kind of characters I would need to create and what their names should mean and their origin. I've read so much about them but it still doesn't feel like enough. I want to dive deeper into the stories, even if it means my short story takes a year to complete. 

• I love how deliberate I am about some of the things I do. From the clothes I wear to the names I choose for my characters, to the gifts I give my friends, they are all chosen for a reason and are meant to say something even if it goes unheard or ends up saying something I didn't know it would say.

• I love my thirst to progress. To continue my own character development, to continue growing, and changing. To keep going forward deeper and deeper every day looking for new perspectives, new insights, more truth in reality and in fiction even if it takes me forever to comprehend it all.

So, there you have it. It took this one- semester- college- drop out two months to finish this challenge. Hopefully, over time I'll let God tear away my dragon scales, and go swim in the ocean. Maybe I'll finally let go of the darkness and embrace the light, and maybe I'll reread  The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (it's been awhile since I've read it)
        Thank you both for your reply letters. You guys have helped me so much and I hope one day we'll all have some coffee together.

Your sister in Christ, 

LadybytheSea